Faith Archives - crissycates.com

Find Value in Yourself

May 8, 2019

Women have an innate need to be valuable, but how do you find value in yourself? We are nurturers, doers, multi-taskers, and caregivers. Yearning for value, we attempt to be beautiful and cultivate beautiful spaces in lovely homes that smell like Anthropologie and look like no one lives there. We strive to be everything to everyone and, to be honest, many times we are. And on top of all that, we want to make it look easy.

Not So Much…

You and I don’t believe these desires are truly attainable, but that doesn’t stop us from trying or from beating ourselves up when we don’t measure up. I’ve stared into my own eyes in the mirror more times than I’d like to admit with contempt for all the things I’m not; all the times I’ve failed at being as valuable as I thought I should be, needed to be or wished I was. If I’m not careful, I can chip away at my worth without even trying.

But, God. He so graciously reminds me who I am. Yes, I’m a nurturer, a doer, a multi-tasker, and a caregiver. I’m a woman, a wife, a mom, a daughter, a sister, and a friend, but there isn’t an adjective or title that could add to or take away from my value because it isn’t found in those things. It’s also not found in being a high-powered executive, a stay-at-home-mom, a vegetarian, a dancer, a student, an Army wife, a good speller, a cool mom, a member of the club, or a leader or follower.

The creator determines the value, not the work of art.

I’m pretty sure my toddler has created some abstract works of art that rival the artistic renditions that have sold for millions. SuccessStory.com reports that the most expensive piece of abstract art sold to date was a canvas painted by Mark Rothko. You guys. It’s a rectangular canvas with purple paint on top, a line of green going across the middle, and solid red on the bottom. He entitled it “No. 6 (Violet, Green and Red).” (He’s obviously super creative with words, too.) It sold for 186 million dollars. ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY-SIX MILLION OF ‘EM. (Excuse me. *Alexa, add “Research how to become an abstract artist” to my to-do list.)

Seriously, though.

I could legitimately replicate it without a lot of effort, so where does this astronomical value come from? It’s the artist. The creator of that piece of work has something I don’t have. He knows more than I know about art and does things with a paintbrush I would never know to do. He produces strokes and blends colors in ways I don’t understand or know. The fact that I don’t fully understand the value of the art is honestly just ignorance on my part.

But wait, there’s more. There’s someone else out there who understands and appreciates the value of the work of art. There’s someone out there who has one hundred eighty-six million big ones burning a hole in his pocket just for that one, unique, complexly simple work of art.

Value doesn’t come from the canvas alone. It doesn’t come from the strokes you create or wish you had, nor from buying fancy paint or high dollar paintbrushes. The art gallery you find yourself in? Nope. The beautiful works of art you’re surrounded by? Wrong again. Find value in yourself by knowing the One who created you. You’re not valuable because of what you are, what you can do, or how much you’ve contributed. Let this land on your heart: Your Creator decided that you were worth making. He put a price on you that the deepest pockets in the world couldn’t touch. There was only one man who could pay the price for you, and it wasn’t monetary, but a ridiculously higher cost: His life. As it turns out, you were worth every bit to Him.

value, woman, woman sitting, valuable woman

You’re valuable because He calls you His.

For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10

You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:20

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 1 Peter 2:9

Find value in yourself by knowing He created you for a purpose.

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit — fruit that will last — and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. John 15:16

He has saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time. 2 Timothy 1:9

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

You are uniquely equipped and capable.

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be competent, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11

He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might he increases strength. Isaiah 40:29

She sets about her work vigorously, her arms are strong for her tasks. Proverbs 31:17

There’s nothing you have or haven’t done, accomplished, said, or been that makes you valuable. Live in the truth that you’re more precious than gold because your Creator is kind of a big deal. He put you on this earth for a purpose, so don’t spend another minute questioning your value or worth in the things of this earth. Lift your eyes to the heavens and run hard after Him, for there you’ll find a freedom and value unavailable elsewhere.

The Time I Got It Right

March 26, 2019

“Mom, thanks for being understanding and nice.” The words from my 12-year-old sank in and settled in my soul. This time, I got it right.

There’s something about having a prepubescent adolescent and a toddler at the same time (let’s not forget the one in between that really keeps things exciting) that has a tendency to truly expose the many weaknesses of a tired, stressed-out mom. (Or maybe that’s not it at all. Maybe it’s just the one preteen. Just let me go with it. It makes for a really good excuse, no?)

It’s the after-school hours that really put my frailties on display. Things like fussy toddlers, messes, homework, sibling rivalry, discipline, bad grades, dinner, practices, and dishes all demand my attention at exactly the same time. Add to that a preteen attitude (that if it wasn’t so darn offensive it would be hilarious) and well, If I’m being honest, I’m not always that understanding and nice.

You know the drill. Sometimes they’re outgoing, witty, in great spirits, and downright fun to be around. But, lest you get comfortable and think the middle-school years are going to be a breeze, that same kid will turn on you so fast you’re left wide-eyed, cutting your eyes across the room to see if anyone else just witnessed this anomaly.

I never know exactly what I’ll find when my middle-schooler gets in the car after school each afternoon. It’s usually the silly, rambunctious kid I know who’s thrilled to finally be out of the classroom and desperately itching to get outside and burn off pent up energy. On the other hand, there are times he’s entirely moody, and even he doesn’t know why. When there’s a reason, he tells me. Sometimes, there’s simply not a reason to be found. He doesn’t even understand it, bless his heart.

You see, hormones are mean when you’re in middle school. Not only do they mess with your body and physical appearance, but they also mess with your mind and emotions. Stress hormones, sex hormones, and growth hormones have their way with every unsuspecting middle school child. Sometimes they feel really down, sad, angry, or confused, and they don’t even see it coming. It’s really not fair.

It’s in these times that, if I can rein in my tendency to try to control his words, actions, and feelings, I have the chance to connect with the heart of my growing boy and be exactly who he needs me to be when he needs me to be it. If I can ace this test, I’ll always have his heart. As a loving mother, I may be called to relinquish the expectations of my preteen being reasonable, respectful, and rational even if just for a moment. These opportunities are fleeting (thank God, amiright?) and we can either use them to strengthen our bond or lose them and a little bit of their heart in the process. Don’t panic, moms and dads. Hear me closely. I get this wrong more than I get this right. But, even just sometimes getting it right means my boy knows my heart’s attitude toward him. When he told me thank you, I silently vowed to myself that I’d try my best to always be exactly what he needs during these tough moments in the future.

He needs me to be patient. He needs me not to ask questions, demand answers, insist that he change his attitude, or apologize to his brother right this second.

He needs me to be understanding. He needs to know that it’s okay. He needs to hear that it’s okay to not feel okay sometimes and that we’ll get through it together. No, I’m not a punching bag for the moody rants of my preteen, but I can and should see his struggles for what they are and respectfully lend a hand, an ear, and be part of the solution.

He needs encouragement. He needs me to lift him up. He needs me to stay upbeat and not fall into the trap of reciprocating his attitude problem. He needs to hear, “Why don’t you get outside and shoot some hoops? I bet you’ll feel better right away.” or “Some days are just like that. I remember those days in middle school. Heck, I still have them now.” or “I’m here for you if you want to talk. I am confident you’re going to be a-okay.”

He needs a hug. Yep. Hug the porcupine. Give him a pat on the back, a high five, or a fist bump. Try to make him laugh. Tell him you love him and you think he’s an awesome kid. Ask him what he wants for dinner, or tell him he can have ice cream after just because.

Friends, there are so many days I get this wrong. But on this day, I got it right. And he noticed. This great kid of mine immediately said, “Mom, thanks for being understanding and nice.” It made a world of difference. He went outside, played basketball, and was back to himself right away. Here’s the takeaway: If I had met him where he was and lashed out at his unreasonable attitude toward everyone and everything, we would’ve had a tough night. (Ask me how I know.)

As parents, we must remember that when kids sound a lot like they’re giving us a hard time it’s because they’re having a hard time. I’ll tuck away this memory of the time I got it right and hopefully duplicate it again and again in the future. Lord knows I’ll have plenty of opportunities.

Resurrection Eggs: An Easter Tradition

March 12, 2019

Spring is in the air, and that means it’s time to start making plans for Easter! What to wear, what to eat, who to spend the holiday with, and when to die Easter eggs?! Easter is such a lovely holiday, isn’t it? Sure, flowers are in full bloom, new life and greenery abound, and goodie-filled baskets are aplenty, but celebrating the Savior of the world rising from death to life is an incredible honor that leaves me in awe year after year (okay, day after day…minute after minute). But, if we’re not careful, Easter is yet another holiday that can get lost in commercialization and candy along with Halloween and Valentine’s Day.

I try to be intentional when celebrating especially meaningful holidays like Christmas and Easter. It’s important that my kids know the incredible significance these days hold. Several years ago I found these Resurrection Eggs and they quickly became an Easter tradition in our home. It can be hard for young kids to grasp the idea of a Biblical truth that still brings life today, so giving them something to see, hear, feel, and touch is essential. We faithfully use these Resurrection Eggs as an Easter tradition in our home.

The Resurrection Eggs set comes with a dozen eggs filled with trinkets that help tell the story of Jesus’ arrest, crucifixion, and resurrection. Accompanying the eggs is a booklet that correlates each portion of the story to an egg. As you read the story, the children open an egg to find a meaningful symbol to help them understand and relate to it.

You can either do them all at once or spread them out over the days leading up to Easter. Our family does them all in one sitting. The Resurrection Eggs appeal to kids of all ages. My boys are 12, 8, and 3, and we’ve been using them for years. They take turns opening the eggs after their dad or I have read the page of the story. We give them time to talk or ask questions as each child holds the item, and then we move on to the next part of the story. Spoiler alert: the final egg is empty, just like the tomb! This certainly isn’t the only time we talk about the Easter story with our kids, but it is a fun, hands-on Easter tradition that makes the Easter story come alive for our children year after year.