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Living life on purpose.

Living Inspired

Six small things we can do daily to stay inspired, motivated, and make lasting change

Ah, the first days of a new year! The gyms are full, the diets are anew, and ambition is oozing from our pores. It’s funny how almost every human gets excited about a new year, but so few people actually make any adjustments in their everyday lives to initiate change before the next NYE. Jim Rohn said it best: “If you’re not happy where you are, MOVE. You’re not a TREE!”

I’ve mulled this over more times than I can count over the past few weeks. The fact is that in order for any of us to really incite change, we have to be inspired. Life tends to get in the way of even the best of intentions, doesn’t it? If we aren’t inspired about each month of the year, each day of the week, and each minute of the day, the centrifugal force of our day in and day out inevitably holds us back from any chance of making a change. After all, it’s the little things that add up to actual, lasting change in our lives (Slight Edge, anyone?).

I keep myself inspired each day in really small, simple ways: listening, reading, and learning. I have an insatiable desire to know better and to do better. I joke that I have to listen to these things, read these things, and learn these things over and over again because I’m just that dense. Maybe it’s not really a joke, after all! It’s in these small, consistent things that I’m reminded of who I am, who I want to be, and where I’m going. As a child of God, a wife, a mom, and a woman, it’s important to stay focused and inspired in these areas.

Staying in the Word

Waking up early to read and study a chapter in the Bible is the key to keeping my head on straight. No matter how much I’m tempted to catch up on work or sleep in those gloriously silent morning hours, when I discipline myself to do this daily I’m at my best. To see what that looks like for me, here’s my morning Bible reading and prayer journaling routine. (But seriously, if I could freeze time, you’d find me in those gloriously silent morning hours when I’m the only one awake and the house is quiet, calm, and clean. Namaste.)

Reading

It’s true, I’m always chatting about the latest non-fiction book I’m reading, but hear me when I say: this is a huge part of what keeps me inspired! I’ve become a sucker for audiobooks lately because #workingmomlife and such, but those are still books, so I think I can still maintain book nerd status. I’ve found I can ingest them so much faster and so much more frequently when I’m listening and not having to stop and read actual words. (To be clear: Reading actual words are my favorite thing ever. In my office, of course: the bathtub.) If you haven’t read my post on my absolute favorite, most life-changing books, hop on over to this post asap! I’ve updated it with my newest favorite book I read in 2018 and added links for the audiobooks.

YouTube

It’s YouTube’s world, and we’re just living in it. Play it on your phone, your computer, or your TV. If you’re in need of some inspiration, open up YouTube and the world is your oyster. Just type a word like inspiration, motivation, happiness, etc, and you’ll be presented with a million different brilliant minds that will mess you up (in a good way). My favorite? Search for Jim Rohn. Whatever comes up by him – listen to it! I adore him and every single bit of his wisdom. I wish he had lived on forever. The good news is that his teaching does, and we can all still learn from it. He’ll dish out a hearty dose of reality and make sure you walk away feeling motivated and totally capable of accomplishing whatever you set your mind to.

Podcasts

Have you jumped on the podcast bandwagon? From murder mysteries to financial guidance, there’s sure to be a podcast you’re dying to hear. I listen to several. Just type in whatever topic you’re hoping to find and a plethora of choices will come up.

Before I get sidetracked and start talking about my Up and Vanished obsession, I want to share with you the most inspiring podcasts I’ve been listening to.

Rachel Hollis hosts Rise and Rise Together (the latter is done with her husband on the topics of relationship and marriage). This girl was born with a fire inside her that just can’t be put out. She makes me think maybe I can go for it, too! Here’s the best part – she’s all about giving actionable steps. She doesn’t just spit out a pearl of elusive wisdom and send you on your way. Nope, you’ll know what to do.

Another one of my favorites is The Crystal Paine Show. Crystal is known as the Money Saving Mom on IG and Facebook. She inspires and encourages women to be the best we can be, to be content with what we’ve got, and to save money every chance we get. She’s a total girl-next-door who feels like a friend. She also has some pretty rad book recommendations. I adore following her on social media and on her podcast!

Instagram

Use Instagram wisely! IG can be a place of inspiration or just a massive comparison trap that brings you down. What accounts do you follow that genuinely make you smile, inspire you, or make you want to be a better version of yourself? Follow those. Unfollow the rest.

Here are just a few of my favorite, inspiring accounts:

The Sister Studio. Jennifer Reed is my friend IRL. I adore her perfectly imperfect self. She is my go-to for achievable, affordable fashion suited for every body! I also love her easy-peasy hair and makeup tutorials and her fun, oh-so relatable stories.

Cotton Stem. Erin is NOT my friend IRL, but I feel like she is. She’s a totes profesh interior decorator, so her home is #goals, but she doesn’t make me feel like a failure because my home doesn’t look quite so perfect. Don’t be surprised if she shares in her stories the mess surrounding the square of perfection when she posts it. Her favorite phrase is, “You do you, man!” I admire how intentional she is with her family. She inspires me to be a better mom, wife, and yeah…decorator, too.

Rachel Mitchell. @racheljmitchell is a sweet soul I met on IG. She’s a fitness gal with a soul on fire for the Lord! She cares about working out her mind and spirit even more than working out her body (which she cares about a lot). She reminds me that I can be who I want to be, do what I need to do, and that God’s grace is written all over the pages of my life. Here’s the kicker: she’s still my friend even though I have never once joined one of her workout initiatives. She’s the real deal, yo.

Music

Pump up the jams, people! Did you know music is clinically proven to improve mood and increase endorphins? I love praise and worship music and that’s usually my go-to. However, when I feel like gettin’ jiggy with it, I tell Alexa to play Top 40. Let’s just say I can be found shaking my booty in my kitchen and/or singing at the top of my lungs on a regular basis. Just ask my family.

Be intentional. Stay inspired. Make a lasting change this year!

But What If I Don’t Care Who You’re Voting For?

But What If I Don’t Care Who You’re Voting For?

Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t care who you’re voting for. I didn’t ask and probably don’t want to know. If we’ve been friends, family, or colleagues all this time without awareness of having or lacking strong political ties to one another, which bubbles you fill in in the privacy of your voting booth really don’t concern me.

I miss the days of old when it was a societal faux pas to talk about who you were voting for. It used to be that the boldest political statement most would make was putting a small sign in the grass of their front yard.

Don’t get me wrong – I have strong political opinions of my own. I genuinely care who wins each election. There are issues that weigh heavily on my heart. Because of that, I find out where candidates stand on said issues, head to the polling place, wait in line, and cast my vote. I make sure my voice is heard in the only way that really matters: by my vote. (Read: Not on Facebook.)

I know I’m not alone when I say I’ve become so incredibly disenchanted with the barrage of political banter on social media and news outlets. I find myself in awe again and again at how polarizing it all can be. You can’t even consider opening Facebook during an election season unless you’re willing to have mud slung on you, no matter which side of the fence you’re on.

I read through the articles, blogs, and posts on social media with tension in my soul. I intentionally remind myself that I thrive on her sense of humor/I adore his family/I survive thanks to her encouraging views on parenthood/I glean wisdom from his teaching every other day of the year. I understand that we have one million things in common yet we somehow have starkly opposing points of view.

Here’s the deal. If I’ve learned one thing from resolutely oppositional people standing on their social media soapboxes, it’s this: People that I care about, respect, and even really like, cross partisan lines, and I think that’s okay (cue the gasp…NOW).

So what’s the problem with a bold, unapologetic, political tirade online? There’s someone on the opposite end of the spectrum who is, indeed, not an idiot like you might be suggesting. There’s someone who has every bit as much education as you (maybe more) who has come to another conclusion. There’s someone with far more life experience than you who has an opposing opinion. There’s someone with the same religious affiliation who takes a totally different stance on the same issues. There are respected professionals in your field who, based on their life experiences, have fallen on the opposite side of the political spectrum.

There are moms and dads, teachers and preachers, doctors and lawyers, racially same and racially different who vote the same as you and who vote differently than you. There are really good people on both sides. No one has the right to degrade certain groups of people based on politics any more than they do on the base of religion, race, or gender. I fully respect the fact that there are differing points of view on just about everything. I respect the fact that we’ve walked different roads (even if ever so slightly) and that our experiences have led us to take a stand on different sides of the line. I respect your right to vote however you feel led.

So, dear friends, let your voices be heard at the polls. Participate in fundraisers, take action on issues that are near and dear to your heart. Do things that matter. Speak in a way people will listen, not draw their proverbial swords. 

Culture-Raised Kids: Part Three

Welcome to Part Three of the Culture-Raised Kids Series! My goal is to take what I’ve learned and continue to learn from the experts about raising kids in today’s culture and relay it to you in practical ways (Plus, writing it down helps me to retain it!). If you missed Part One or Part Two, make sure to go back and read those, as well! There are many elements of culture that are unique to those of us raising kids in this generation (far more than I could ever write in three blog posts, to be sure). May we not be a generation of parents who bury our heads in the sand, but rather take advantage of the tools we have at our disposal to be proactive and intentional in how we are bringing up our boys and girls. The last three elements I’m going to present in this series are TV, Movies, Video Games.

TV

I love game shows. I want to be on one, watch them, and want everyone else in the room to be as excited as I am about them. My favorite is Family Feud. Well, it was. It used to be a fun, safe show that we could plop down on the couch and watch as a family. I mean, who doesn’t love a good, healthy dose of Steve Harvey? We’d shout out answers, gloat when our answer showed up on the board, and laugh at some of our own ridiculous guesses. It used to be that if there was ever a suggestive question or answer, it was just that – not obvious or truly inappropriate. Lately, it’s become overtly unsuitable for children. There’s a constant barrage of questions and answers about sex, male and female body parts, and pornography. There is a time and a place to address these issues with our children, but I wasn’t really counting on Steve Harvey to explain the birds and the bees to my kids if ya know what I mean. We’ve had to nix it as a family-friendly option in our household. (Sad face.)

The truth is, this is the rule, not the exception. As much as I want to huff, puff, and roll my eyes at this, it’s sadly just the way it is today. Sitcoms, TV, movies, reality shows, the NEWS, it’s really all a gamble. More often than not, our kids are going to be exposed to things we’d rather them not be when they’re watching the tube.

I’d rather not fight an uphill battle, so our simple solution is that we don’t watch “our shows” when the kids are up and about. Truthfully, we almost never have the television on a regular TV station. This is one of the beauties of technology today. We can watch what we want to on-demand. The kids watch safe, age-appropriate shows on Netflix or YouTube on our TV in the living room.  

Take action!

Keep the TV turned off unless there’s a specific show the kids can watch. Some of our current family favorites are America’s Got Talent, America’s Funniest Videos, and American Ninja Warrior. Pay attention to what they’re watching or wanting to watch. Check Common Sense Media (my lifesaver – more info on this in a moment) if you’re not sure about it!

Movies

One of my biggest pain points as a boy mom is that most of the superhero movies my kids are dying to see are filled with bad language at a minimum. For the life of me, I can’t understand why filmmakers, producers, and the powers that be insist on shoving these things down our throats – especially at the expense of our children’s innocence. There are even cartoon movies with cuss words, FOR THE LOVE. And, don’t tell me that they’re not meant for or directed at children. If that was the case, Walmart’s toy aisles wouldn’t be brimming with toys promoting the movie.  

Take Action!

I don’t allow my kids to see a movie without consulting Common Sense Media. This site has an honest review of all things media – TV, movies, video games, apps, etc. Under a section titled “What Parents Need to Know,” there’s a brief synopsis of the plot (no spoilers), gives an “expert opinion” on how old a kid should be to see (or play) the movie/show/app/video game, explains the situations and topics presented in the movie (or show/app/video game), which exact words to watch out for, and rates the following categories on a scale of 1-5: Educational Value, Positive Messages, Positive Role Models and Representations, Violence and Scariness, Sexy Stuff, Language, Consumerism, and Drinking, Drugs, and Smoking. There’s also a section where real parents (and even kids) leave a review and opinion on the media. This has become an invaluable resource for our family. 

Video Games

Did you know the medical community is now acknowledging a condition called “Gaming Disorder?” Google it. There are treatment options available. There’s rehab for it. I’m not even joking! As crazy as that sounds, can we just all agree that video games are a powerful force to be reckoned with in our children’s lives? Can we agree that video games hold power and have an influence on those who play them? I could delve into brain research and scientific and behavioral studies that have been done on this topic, but to avoid an excessive amount of writing and reading, can we just reasonably assume that we, as parents, should pay attention to and regulate which games we allow our kids to play? This includes those you put into a gaming system (PlayStation, XBOX, etc.) AND the many apps you can download on the phone or tablet.

Friends, there are some dangerous, inappropriate, violent, disturbing, sick games out there. When I googled “inappropriate video games” to see if those I already know about were mentioned, I came across an article titled “Keep it Secret: 25 Inappropriate Video Games You Don’t Want to Get Caught Playing.” I hadn’t heard of even one of them. If my kid came home and asked to download one, I would never have known it was inappropriate just by the name, I assure you. We can’t expect our kids to be fine if we’re not paying close attention.

Take Grand Theft Auto, for instance. This game has been around for decades, and it just keeps getting more and more shocking. Here’s what Common Sense Media has to say about it:

WHAT PARENTS NEED TO KNOW
Parents need to know that Grand Theft Auto V is an M-rated action game brimming with gang violence, nudity, extremely coarse language, and drug and alcohol abuse. It isn’t a game for kids. Playing as hardened criminals, players kill not only fellow gangsters but also police officers and innocent civilians using both weapons and vehicles while conducting premeditated crimes, including a particularly disturbing scene involving torture. Women are frequently depicted as sexual objects, with a strip club mini-game allowing players to fondle strippers’ bodies, which are nude from the waist up. Players also have the opportunity to make their avatars use marijuana and drink alcohol, both of which impact their perception of the world. None of the main characters in the game makes for a decent role model. All of them are criminals who think of themselves first and others rarely at all. Few games are more clearly targeted to an adult audience.

I found it interesting that the average “Parent Say” rating on this site for the age recommendation on this game was 12+. Hmmm. Thanks, parents, but we’ll just have to agree to disagree on that one. How ‘bout half past never? You guys, my second grader has friends who play this game. Just no. What is getting in those kids’ heads when they play this game? What are they being desensitized to? What are they learning, seeing, and how is this impacting their thought processes? It’s not good.

What are your thoughts on the infamous Fortnite? This has been a source of a lot of discussion in our house. We first said no, because of the violence aspect, and honestly, the kids didn’t really care much about it. Then, we started hearing more about it and the kids started asking more and more. We did some in-depth research. I read just about every review on Common Sense Media. My husband and I talked it to death. I prayed about it. It doesn’t seem to be over the top – there’s no sex, drinking, drugs, smoking, or language – but it is true that the characters are killing people as opposed to monsters or aliens.

My personal take: I always want to make decisions with intention, and not say no just for the sake of convenience or for no good reason. We ultimately allowed our 11-year-old to download it onto his iPad only, play in very limited increments, and we said no to the 7-year-old playing it at all. Would it truly harm him? I genuinely don’t think so, or I wouldn’t let either of them play it. But, I must remain in control and keep a precedence set so that we don’t let negative influences edge their way in, especially at such a young age.  

Take Action!

At a bare minimum, pay attention to the ratings on video games. I have an almost no-exception policy on having no T-rated games in our home until my kids are teens (at least)! I certainly would never allow an M-rating. Play in moderation! No gaming rehab needed over here. I totally think video games have their place. I loved to play them as a kid. To be honest, I sometimes tell my kids to just be quiet and go play XBOX. Let’s simply limit the time our kids spend playing them. We personally say NO gaming on school nights and play in moderation on weekends. Research the apps they’re asking for. In our home, the parents are the only ones who know the iTunes password and we have to enter it for every app downloaded. We avoid live games on XBOX and turn off the chat feature whenever possible. The chat feature on video games is a real source of danger to look out for. This is often a pedophile’s playground. Teach your kids to create usernames that don’t include any part of their real names, and to never give out personal information online at all.

Thank you to those of you who took the journey along this three-part series with me. This is a heavy topic that I feel I could write about forever and ever without stopping. I’m passionate about guarding our kids’ hearts and minds. If we as their parents don’t, no one else will. If we don’t raise them with intention, the culture will gladly take over. Intentionality is the only path to raising our children with strong values, instilling in them a solid moral compass, and equipping them to reach others for the Kingdom.

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