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Simple Spring Break Ideas

February 28, 2019

Anyone else have a serious case of spring fever? I’m dying over here. It’s funny, but I used to love the cold weather. As I’ve gotten older I am less and less tolerant of any temperature that is below 60 and over 80. Anyone up for a move to Hawaii?

Alright, FINE. If I can’t live on a tropical island somewhere, I’ll just soak up the sweet days of spring here in North Texas before too cold becomes too hot. For now, dreams of self-tanner, cut-off shorts, sundresses, spring-colored nails, and quality family time with some fresh new inexpensive and free spring break ideas are swirling in my head.

First of all, we’re not spring break travelers. My kids are such homebodies, although I’m sure they’d have fun on a spring break getaway, they’d feel cheated that they didn’t get time to be at home on their week off. I guarantee it. When I was a teacher, the LAST THING ON EARTH I wanted to do was pack up and go somewhere during my week off. Even now that I work from home, I prefer traveling in the summer when we have plenty of time to prepare and ample time to recover. My goal for spring break is simply this: to be intentional with our time together and hope it’s memorable for us all.

But, if I don’t think of spring break ideas ahead of time, that week will fly by almost without notice. I’ve gathered some of our favorite, free, simple, and inexpensive things to do as a family (nothing crazy, just low-key yet meaningful, fun, and intentional) and put them on our 2019 Spring Break Bucket List. We won’t get to all of them, but we’ll get to some, and that will be just perfect. Here are my spring break ideas:

Read a novel together. One of my favorite things I do with my older boys on a regular basis is reading together at night. Our consistency in doing this ebbs and flows depending on what season we’re in (too often practices and homework dominate our evenings). Some of our favorite reads so far are The Adventures of Winnie The Pooh, Wonder, Harry Potter (we’re on book 3 now), and The One and Only Ivan. We seriously look forward to this time so much. It’s a great way to connect with my kids and spend time with just my big boys (I put the little one to bed first). Over spring break, I’m hoping we’ll finish the third Harry Potter book, The Prisoner of Azkaban.

Start (or in our case, continue) a family devotional. If you haven’t read my post on our favorite family devotionals, head over here for some great suggestions! I also saw that Tony Evans recently came out with a family devotional in his Kingdom series, called Kingdom Family. It’s less than $8 on Amazon. Do you know and love Tony Evans? I find such incredible wisdom in his words and in his work. I will definitely be checking this devotional out.

A trip to the zoo. We have a small zoo about 15 minutes away, and we sometimes make the trek to the Dallas or Ft. Worth zoos or even the drive-through zoo. This is fun for all ages, educational, and it will certainly help you get your steps in.

Look at the stars. I always vow to do this with my kids and never do. I’m going to try to make that happen over spring break. I’m thinking blankets in the bed of the truck, snacks, and cuddles.

Go for a walk or bike ride. Taking walks on a sunny day puts me in a great mood every time! There’s just something about that mix of vitamin D and endorphins. My boys love riding their bikes, but I don’t have one. I’ve been thinking about getting one, but I’d have to get a toddler seat to mount, as well. What do you think? Should I get one? I need input!

Let the kids take turns choosing and cooking dinner. Okay, so I’ll probably only do this once per kid, but it will be fun one-on-one time and a learning experience for them, as well.

Have a front yard family baseball game. Play catch, hit some balls, even set out some makeshift bases for a real live showdown. Girls vs. boys? Adults vs. kids? Make it interesting! My husband doesn’t let the kids win. He makes them earn it. (And they usually do!)

A trip to an amusement park. My parents got us season tickets to Six Flags, so this is always a fun option. Again, this is winning entertainment for every age! My three-year-old can’t stop talking about how much fun he recently had at “Flick Flags.”

A family picnic at the park. Give us a nice day at the park and a bag of five sandwiches, chips, fruit, cookies, and some drinks, and my kids will have a blast and never want to leave. This is free fun at its finest! Bonus: they’re really tired at bedtime!

Complete a random act of kindness. Or two or three! Pay for someone in the drive-through line, leave a quarter in the basket at Aldi, take blankets, socks, shoes, or gift cards to the homeless, volunteer at the local food bank, or leave a surprise on a neighbor’s doorstep. This will be a fun activity to complete together as a family

Spend individual time with each kid. If you can, carve out a morning or afternoon to spend one-on-one time with each kiddo. If you have two kids and a partner, split them between you. If you have more than 2 kids, get creative! You’ll never regret spending time with them, and you’ll both have fantastic memories of Spring Break 2019!

Happy Spring Breaking, friends!

LABELS ~ Calling, Family

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Countdown to Discipline: How to Get Kids to Listen | The Simple Step You Can Implement Right This Minute To Light a Fire Under Your Kids

February 21, 2019

Do you ever get so freaking tired of asking your kids to do things over and over and over again? I don’t, I’m just asking for a friend. Pssssh. Seriously, though. Sometimes it feels like banging my head up against a wall. As it turns out, I don’t enjoy banging my head up against walls. So I avoid such banging and likewise end up avoiding asking my kids to do things I really need them to do because, quite frankly, it robs me of joy and the will to live. Have you, like me, ever just wanted to know how to get kids to listen?

Can you relate to the following scenario?

It’s been an insane day of meetings, housework, screaming babies, traffic, and/or [you fill in the blank]. You will yourself to figure out something for dinner so your people can be fed without you having to make a trip to the store. The kids get home from school and chaos ensues. They need help with homework, studying, and redoing failed assignments.

You succeed in throwing together a last-minute, healthy-ish dinner (you champion, you) just for the kids to eat three bites of just the mac n’ cheese and then announce they’re so very full, but can they please have some cereal? It’s 6:07 pm, which means you can reasonably send them to showers and baths and start the journey toward bedtime in approximately 53 minutes, but who’s counting?

It’s time for those helpful little darlings to do their after dinner chores and, as per usual, their distractions are next-level. You remind them nicely, ask them again, and again, and again before you raise your voice and start shelling out consequences. They then look at you like you’ve lost your actual mind. “Why are you being so mean, mom? Why are you so mad? We’re just playing with our brothers, mom. GOSH. It’s like you don’t even want us to play with each other.” (Your eye starts twitching.)

Exasperated, you settle for whatever they manage to accomplish, which is picking up about 50% of the toys, clothes, and shoes off the floor, wiping about 30% of the crumbs off the table, and sweeping around (but not under) the table. You really need help, but it’s just too exhausting to fight them. Knowing how to get kids to listen and act would pretty much make your life, right?

You guys, the struggle is real. I feel like I have us set up for success by establishing routines and minimal nightly chores, but, with this brood of wild boys in my lair, our reality doesn’t always pan out so perfectly. It’s not that they’re not trying to do the right thing. They’re not deliberately ignoring me, they just find it incredibly difficult to focus (I have no idea where they get that. Ahem.). It’s more that, until now, I didn’t know how to get kids to listen, focus, and move with a purpose.

Lean in closely, friends. I’ve found a way that lights a fire under rears of children of all ages. I give them 1) a specific time limit and 2) a consequence that will follow if the task isn’t completed within the given time frame. Boom. Hand to the heavens, it works almost every time. “Hey bud, if the floor isn’t swept PERFECTLY (this means “good enough” in adolescent talk) by 6:10, you’ll get an X on your chart.” (If you haven’t read my post on the simplest and most effective discipline system I’ve ever used, find it here.) Or “Kiddo, if you haven’t put your clothes away where they belong (I said you have to be specific) by 5:47, you’re going to get a pop on the bottom.” (I have a wooden spoon, and I’m not afraid to use it.)

Kids really appreciate knowing what to expect and having clear expectations. A time limit gives them the ability and the will to focus. Heck, I wish someone would do this to me all day. I’m going to try it on myself.

So, set a reasonable time expectation and be clear about what you expect to be done. Tell them the consequence that will follow if the task isn’t complete by that certain time. Make sure it’s something you’re fully ready and willing to enforce (like an “X”). In the event your kids miss the mark, enforce the consequence with no exceptions. Then give them another chance to get it right. “This time, you have until 6:02. Good luck!” This can all be done respectfully with no emotion and no raised voices. Don’t remind the kids after you’ve set the expectation. You don’t want to get yourself into the habit of nagging on top of setting time limits! (There goes your joy again.) It may take them a time or two, but after they see you mean business, they won’t test it again.

Happy timing!

LABELS ~ Calling, Family, Uncategorized

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How To Be a Better Wife

February 12, 2019

You know what the Bible calls a mystery? Marriage. Seriously, we shouldn’t feel bad when it seems like a tall order for us mere mortals. Here’s proof:

For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This mystery is profound, but I am speaking about Christ and the church. Ephesians 5:31-32

To be clear: After entering the covenant of marriage, not only are we expected to be one with our spouse, but our marriage is also supposed to be a representation of how Christ (the perfect one) relates to us, His beloved (the broken peeps). NO BIG DEAL.

I don’t know about you, but my marriage is a spitting image of Christ’s love for the church. No anger, disrespect, unloving behavior, or flaring tempers. Baaaahahahaha! I’m not even going to act like you didn’t know I was pulling your leg. Friends, let’s get real. Even the best marriages are often mundane, hectic, thoughtless, and broken. Worst case scenario they’re hateful, disrespectful, contemptuous, and dead. Long story short: our marriages are a sorry excuse for what God actually has in mind for this institution. But God has more for us, and it’s never ever too late. So, do you want to know how to be a better wife? How to escape the world’s impossibly low standards for marriage and soar above and beyond? How to believe there’s more for yourself, your husband, and your marriage? I do, too. Dive on in. The water’s fine.


1. Look in the mirror. Get real with yourself, girlfriend. Sometimes you have to go first. Let’s say your husband has no desire to be a better husband. Do you still want to know how to be a better wife? (Say yes.) Make the decision up front, and get to work on YOU. There’s nothing like personal development to inspire you and the people around you (in this case, maybe your husband) to know better and do better. Be honest about your strengths and weaknesses, and choose an area or two you’re going to start with that will help you learn how to be a better wife.

2. Show unconditional respect. We’ve been incredibly conditioned to buy into the lie that unconditional love is a reasonable expectation, but unconditional respect need not exist. On the list of Books That Built Me, I cite the book Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs. To learn in depth about the need for unconditional love AND respect in a relationship, please head over to this post to find the links for the book and audiobook. But for now, I’ll leave you with this. Our husbands are desperate for our respect, just as we’re desperate for their love. Here are some common ways we unintentionally (and often unknowingly) show disrespect to them:

  • Our tone of voice (degrading, demeaning, belittling, sarcastic).
  • Our facial expressions (look of disgust, disapproval, disdain).
  • Questioning things he says (How do you know? Is that even true?).
  • Constantly correcting him (No, it should be done this way. No, that’s not exactly how it happened.).

Confession: I’ve been guilty of every last one of these. Not because I’ve wanted to show disrespect to my husband, but simply because I’m human and the farthest thing from a perfect wife. We can learn how to be better wives by concentrating on these common forms of disrespect and intentionally showing unconditional respect. Let’s commit to using a positive, respectful tone of voice (even in disagreement), donning a pleasant or at least neutral facial expression as often as possible, and biting our tongues when we’re tempted to question or correct every time he’s talking. We’ll mess up, but we can at least point our sites in the right direction.

3. Unmistakable communication. This just in: males aren’t good hint-takers. I’m guessing it’s just not in their DNA. My husband happens to be really willing to communicate (I honestly count myself remarkably lucky), but nevertheless, he’s a terrible hint-taker. I do this funny thing when I need him to help me with something. I always start the sentence with “Hey, do you want to…” and he thinks it’s just ridiculous. It’s usually something like, “Hey, do you want to stop by the grocery store?” or “Hey, do you want to go wipe the toddler’s poopy bottom?” or “Hey, do you want to take out the trash?” He invariably answers, “No, but I will.” I’m just trying to be nice, subtle, or gentle with my request. He’d much rather I say, “Hey, it would really help me if…” or “I really need your help with…” Men prefer direct, unconfusing, unmistakable communication. Be clear with him about what you love, what you need, what you wish would change, and how he can help you. Most good-willed men genuinely want to be your hero. They just don’t always perceive what you need. Say it! Don’t hint at it and then be upset when he doesn’t catch on.

4. Criticize less, encourage more. What motivates you more: when someone says you suck at something, or when someone encourages you and believes in you? DUH. This is a no-brainer, but something we fall into easily and often in our homes. This is true for our children and just as much for our husbands. Praise him and thank him for helping rather than showing him how it really should be done. Encourage his parenting, his dieting, his workouts, his career path, his strength, his spiritual leadership, his courage, his integrity, his bravery, his willingness to provide, his accomplishments, and anything and everything else you can think of.

Instead of “Hmmm. I thought you were going to work out today. I knew you wouldn’t stick with it.” Try, “You may have missed your workout today, but I know you’ll be right back at it tomorrow. No big deal!” He’ll be so esteemed and encouraged he’ll try to be even better for you and for himself.

5. Evaluate your influences. We are a total of the five people we spend our time with (i.e., those we’re influenced by). Who’s influencing your marriage? Do work in an office full of divorced man-haters? Watch out, girl. Does your sister talk bad about your husband or your marriage? Put a stop to it. We’re too easily dragged down by other people’s thoughts, actions, lifestyles, and opinions. It’s worth guarding your heart and mind for the sake of your marriage. You may have to politely decline to take part in some conversations and be clear to others that you expect them to respect your marriage because you do. Don’t trick yourself into believing others’ negative opinions aren’t affecting you. They definitely are and will. Marriage is hard enough when just the two of you are involved. No one else should be invited.

6. Spend intentional time together. Find time to laugh together, eat together, talk to one another, and get away every once in a while. My husband and I just attended a 2-day marriage conference and we agree it was absolutely invaluable. I know that time, energy, and money are in short supply, but do what you have to do to spend intentional time with your husband. It all started with you and him, and it will end with you and him. Tell him this is important to you. It probably is to him, too.

7. Pray for your husband and your marriage. God has greater things than you imagine for you, your husband, your marriage, and your family. Talk to God about your hopes, dreams, and desires for your husband and your marriage. Consistent prayer and intentionally guarding your hearts and minds in Him are the only ways to world-proof your marriage. Setting your marriage on cruise control while things are hard, kids are young, finances are tight, and careers are busy is a recipe for disaster, dissension, and divorce if you’re not careful. Seek Godly counsel. Become friends with other Christian couples. Attend a marriage conference. Study the Bible together. Pray together. Keep the main thing the main thing: God first, spouse second. This will ensure you know how to be a better wife through all the ups and downs of life.

LABELS ~ Calling, Faith, Family

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Hi, I’m Crissy!

called and capable, crissy cates, woman on steps, counselor, mental health

My fascination with psychology and mental health and my passion for healthy people and cohesive families drove me to become a licensed Mental Health Counselor. Knowing who you are and where you come from, sharing your story, being heard and understood, and acknowledging and working through life's ups and downs will make all the difference in your life and that of those around you. If you need someone to walk alongside you, reach out via the counseling tab above.

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