Multitasking women, wives, and moms are drowning in self-imposed expectations, keeping up with the Joneses, striving for Pinterest-perfect homes, meals, and children, and contributing to the household income. We have the best intentions to put God first in our lives and fit in some “me” time, because we all know we won’t be our best selves without those staples intact. We, of course, want to give our best to our husbands and children, so we read the books, browse the blogs, and subscribe to the emails to help us do, be, and know all the things. Yet at the end of the day, we go to bed exhausted, wondering if we’ve done even one thing right that day. While we’re giving a little of ourselves everywhere, we are losing ourselves somewhere. Is there even a remedy to this crazy train we so willingly jump on? Do we even want one?
An Interesting Piece of Research
A few years back, Barna Research Group found that ¾ of women consider themselves satisfied with their lives. This comes as no surprise; it makes me so glad. God created people and things in this world for our enjoyment, and he intended for us to live in contentment. But in addition to satisfaction, the same Barna study found that women (and an even higher percentage of moms, specifically) are at the same time overwhelmed, tired, stressed, feel inferior, and yearn for more in many areas of their lives. Let’s be clear: Women are tired, stressed, and way too busy, yet still most wouldn’t change a thing. Does that sound familiar? It does to me!
We are wired to want it all, do it all, be it all. Let’s get real. We CAN do all the things, just not all at the same time.
All the Things
What fights for my attention? God, husband, kids, work, housework, an extroverted introvert’s need for me-time, and oh so many distractions. There’s not one of these things I should cut out. They’re all incredibly important, valuable, and essential. How, in the name of all that is cray, are we supposed to silence those voices that nag, Am I doing enough? Am I being enough? Am I making enough money? Am I a good enough mom? Am I a good enough wife? Is my house clean enough/pretty enough/decorated well enough/neat enough? Are the meals I’m making healthy enough? (My poor brain…it’s crowded in there. Fist bump?)
In the busyness of trying to put together the tangible pieces of our lives, our homes, and our families, we cannot neglect the intangible, the heart and soul of why we do what we do.
When I am grouchy toward my husband and kids because the sink is full of dishes, am I serving them well?
When I can’t slow down enough to hug and kiss my husband when he walks in the door because I can’t tear myself away from the laundry, am I showing him respect and love?
When I can’t find time to play with my kids because I have a healthy new recipe I must try that very evening, am I loving them in their language?
Sadly, the answer is NO! And I’m guilty of this all. the. time.
We must make a choice to be INTENTIONAL with how we direct our ATTENTION.
While being busy with work and chores take a lot of time, just a little time goes a long way with the things that are truly the most important. Quiet time in God’s word, quality time with your spouse, playing with/spending time with your kids, and taking a hot bath (well, that’s MY favorite me-time activity) are all important things that don’t have to take hours at a time! Waking just 30 minutes early to read my bible, journal, and pray makes all the difference in how my day plays out. When I notice my toddler needs my attention, if I stop what I’m doing, read with him or build blocks with him for just 15 minutes, he will leave me alone to do whatever urgent task I could hardly tear myself away from. Sitting my computer (my work) aside to have a 10-minute conversation with my husband isn’t actually that big a deal to me, but will mean a lot to him. Watching my boys play outside for an undistracted half hour will energize them for the entire day!
My goal each day is to determine what’s really important and then act with intention. When we spend pockets of time on the intangible, most important pieces of our lives, the other pieces will find their place and bring with them less stress, exhaustion, and busyness. There will be times we will have to let some things go. I know that’s easier said than done (trust me), but let’s try to put them in perspective next to our real priorities that make a lasting impression on humanity.
This is so true. Why do we find it so hard to chose the obvious right thing to do? Have you read Tyranny of the Urgent?? It speaks to the same things!
I haven’t, but I bet I would love it. Thanks for the rec! I’ll have to check it out!